Archive for May, 2016

29
May
16

Dilli dilwalonka saher hai….one year and still surviving!

 

Exactly a year ago on this date, I boarded train from my dear city Kolkata and came to Delhi. I was gawky, scared and nervous. I am not the first person in this world who leaves home to pursue dream, but for me it was different. Somewhere it was not my dream that chased, instead I wanted to escape from my city. I couldn’t stay any longer and bury myself in pain….so that’s how it all happened.

I left my home, my parents, my city and everything else dear to me…to a new city,  an unknown place amongst unknown people and harsher environment. To all especially my father believed his daughter is making a difference, yes she was…but in a different way. Staying away from your home, you realize a lot of things. People who actually care for you, who is real friend and who you can trust. All this and much more happened with me. I cannot complain as this is the nature and there is nothing wrong in natural occurring. People will change, time will fly and you grow wise…wiser and at last you feel you’re your only friend.

I survived. I survived this one long roller coaster turmoil eye-opening truth realizing year. And I am happy about it. I have gained lot of strength both mentally and may be a bit physically. Now I am wiser. I can let go off things easily, somewhere I can live without people around me and those once who mattered a lot before I can stay without them. Speaking of Delhi, I have gained few friends and for good reasons. If I don’t acknowledge them it will be a sacrilege. At times they became more close and understanding than people with whom I have put my trust.  I guess its not the place that influences people but its your perception, I can never say that the people I knew were the best or the best people are those from where I belonged, as best is always unknown and yet to arrive.

Meeting all different kinds of people was an enthralling experience and also learning things or two about your old acquaintances was amusing…I enjoyed both. I don’t know how much differences I have made, but I have tried and am trying to do my best. Now at this point of my life, I call myself as a Survivor and want to continue like this in future.

No matter where I will be, I will always owe a lot to Delhi. Delhi is like my brother- it has supported me, broke me and then again protected me and made me strong. I will love you but a bit less than Kolkata. So, here this long article you’re reading, I wrote to showcase my love for my Bro Delhi and celebrating a year here as a Survivor. I think I need one year badge like the ones given to sober people, for me as a Survivor. 😛

19
May
16

Ascertain!

 

It takes a lot of courage to stand up for something you believe in,

It takes a lot of courage to re-built something again, when you’re been broken many times.

It takes a lot of courage to let go off something that used to matter,

It takes a lot of courage to step out into the darkness, when you’re afraid. When you need someone to support you!

It takes a lot of courage to smile when you’re crying from inside,

It takes a lot of courage look normal to that one person with whom you can never be.

It takes a lot of courage to live as damaged but you show you’re alright,

It takes a lot of courage to fight everyday with yourself just for the sake of living.

It takes a lot of courage to open your heart and say those words,

It takes a lot of courage to accept rejection and still live.

It takes a lot of courage to trust again and accept the liars,

It takes a lot of courage still keeping the faith for good life.

It takes a lot of courage when you’re wronged for no reason,

It takes a lot of courage to forgive those and thinking it’s a part of life.

It takes a lot of courage to calm yourself when you’re roaring inside,

It takes a lot of courage to face those people with a smile.

It takes a lot of courage to love yourself again, dream again and keep your faith going…

Because that is life! It takes a lot of courage to be human. Not perfect, not fitting but not fake!

It’s the courage that defines you, how you build yourself and see yourself…

Courage is the real power. Be courageous!

 

13
May
16

When sadness seeps in…

 

‘And all I can remember is a cold’

“It’s deep water, driving rain
And all I can remember is a cold”

 

It’s like an invisible dark cloud hovering over your head. Something you refuse to accept, but it never leaves. The dark shadow grows big and then suddenly it engulfs you. You don’t remember when it happened. You don’t remember why it happened…but you’re sad.

Sadness is like that, it will seep in quietly, slowly like an unseen friend. You’d never realize what made those happy moments ruin. What made you cry, what made you angry, feel hopeless. Its an unknown pain which forms a blob in your throat choking you every moment.

Soon everything turned grey. You’re not the same, neither the time.

And you get used to living in the grey, building walls around you to keep yourself protected. You start to believe its better this way in your own quietness…sadness and aloofness. World is not your place and you cannot fake anymore…

Better to stay away…

Pain becomes your gift and you enjoy being in pain and sadness. You’re not a sadist, you know how to smile and be happy. Just forgotten.

But somewhere you feel sadness is better than momentary happiness!!